


Beauty in Numbers

by eledhwenlin



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-10
Updated: 2005-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie's favourite things are numbers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty in Numbers

**Author's Note:**

> This is from Charlie's POV. I just dabbled around a bit and tried to get into his head. There's no pairing yet (there's a mini-innuendo, but blink and you'll miss it. Actually it's more an innuendo for me.)  
> Thanks go to ullman for the fast beta! :)

Sometimes he thinks that they'll never understand. It makes his heart ache, to see something he loves with all of his heart discarded, used as a tool, when there is so much beauty in it. If they just looked a bit closer, if they let themselves be washed away by the sheer intensity hidden in those few abstract signs. If only...

He knows exactly how Finn felt, why he jumped. He has felt like that, like giving up, too, sometimes, but somehow he's never made it that far. There always was someone who cared - his mother. Maybe she didn't understand everything he blurted out, when he explained his work to her, but she smiled all the time and he knew that she understood why he did this. Why he had to do this.

Sometimes he felt alone, but he could always count on someone to come and make it all better. They would reassure him and everything would be fine again. He'd go back to his equations on his blackboards and become dead to the world once again.  
But on some rare occasions that wasn't enough. Sometimes the hurt went too deep to be cured. The wounds didn't heal properly, broken up again and again, leaving scars on his soul he didn't show anyone.

He sees his brother, frowning at him, not understanding what the little boy in front of him is going on about. His father, trying to keep up with his youngest, but failing and admitting defeat to his mother. His mother, looking at him with those loving eyes, but it's evident in her eyes that she isn't quite there, she's listening, but not getting one thing. He loves all of them, but each and every time he's shown how different he is, his heart breaks.

This is why it hurts so much to see his work used like this. They don't know how much work it is for him to calculate those equations, how many hours he puts into those, how much thinking he has to do, how many books he peruses to be completely sure that he's going into the correct direction. He loves to do it, he didn't choose this profession on a whim, but sometimes he wishes that they'd see more in it than just the solution to one of their many problems.

A beautiful equation, discarded because they can't understand what they can't see and they're only interested in what's on the screen.  
Another equation, put together painstakingly, dismissed, because it doesn't lead them to their killer rightaway.

And so it goes on.

Their reactions toward his findings: their surprise, when the numbers tell him more about the case than anything they told him. Awe evident on their faces, when he just looks at things and finds something, not even the solution, but just some random facts about a piece of code which turns out not to be a code at all.

He knows that he can't make them see, if they don't want to, but sometimes... sometimes he wishes that Don understood.


End file.
